The Corporate Bullshit Generator is a must-have for anyone who has ever worked or will ever work in or around cubicles.

I Don’t Like Spam!!!

Planning A Little Excursion, Mr. Hilter?

Bring Out The Comfy Chair!

This Parrot Has Ceased To Be!

Thank You! Good Morning!

Bouncy Bouncy!

How about Adrienne Claire? Or Fleur Jade?

Isn’t Fleur Jade that dim sum place down the street?

Check out this Primer on Parent Cruelty

This is hilar­ious!

Yes, it’s an hour long, and yes it’s def­i­nitely worth it.

Stumbling across the Free Patents web­site couple of days ago, I put it into my del.icio.us book­marks and revis­ited it today. After reg­is­tering with a free account, I was able to view the detailed patent infor­ma­tion for all the patents listed here (like, lots).
Anyway, I’ve been browsing through the Crazy Patents list­ings on the site and there’s some really twisted stuff people come up with! Like the “vehicle mounted toilet seat” (When you’re on the go and you gotta go??) or the nifty “inclining coffin” (When you’re dead but want a seat on the break­fast table??). Complete w/ wild illus­tra­tions this site has some great (and many insane) ideas… for some­thing… I know I can figure out what.

Stephen Colbert imparts sage wisdom in Wired Magazine…

DON’T BE AFRAID TO MAKE THINGS UP. Never fear being exposed as a fraud. Experts make things up all the time. They’re qual­i­fied to.

PICK A FIELD THAT CAN’T BE VERIFIED. Try some­thing like string theory or God’s will: “I speak to God. I’m sorry that you can’t also.” Security experts are in this cat­e­gory: They have secu­rity clear­ances, we don’t. We can’t ques­tion the exper­tise of the NSA because we are not in the NSA.

GET AN HONORARY PHD. They work won­ders. I have a doc­torate in fine arts from Knox College in Illinois. All I did was give a speech, and now every­body has to call me Dr. Colbert.

This guy is on fire!

“Happiness is good health and a bad memory.”
–Ingrid Bergman

“Youth is the gift of nature, but age is the work of art.”
–Garson Kanin

“Lead me not into temp­ta­tion; I can find it myself.”
–Unknown

“Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.”
–Groucho Marx

“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”
–Mark Twain

“Blessed is the person who is too busy to worry in the day­time and too sleepy to worry at night.”
–Unknown

“Today is the tomorrow you wor­ried about yes­terday.”
–Unknown

“We are all born naked and screaming and if you’re lucky that sort of thing won’t stop there.”
–Unknown

“You were born an orig­inal. Don’t die a copy.”
–John Mason

“There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.”
–Edith Wharton

We’ve been taping, each night, monday through thursday, the new episodes of The Daily Show w/ Jon Stewart and The Colbert Report. Then, over the course of the week and the weekend, we watch them all.

It’s a fab system we’ve devel­oped. We don’t miss the antics of the shows, and yet we don’t end up cut­ting into our sleep time to watch them. And, as a bonus, we can fast for­ward through all the com­mer­cials! Ahh, VCRs are not obso­lete yet.

I have to say that Colbert has taken the won­derful con­cepts that were devel­oped on the Daily Show, and placed them among the heavens above. The guy is not just an incred­ibly funny come­dian, he’s also the sharpest mind on TV since Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Sheer genius. Each episode is packed all the way through with punches and jabs and acute obser­va­tions on topics as diverse as Sigmund Freud’s birthday, to Feminine Sexual Emplowerment, to Robotic Deadly Bears.

His schtick, so amaz­ingly played out by him, of being a neo-conservative, ultra right wing, xeno­phobic, homo­phobic, religious-fundamentalist is just flaw­lessly por­trayed – except for the few times each night when he breaks out into a grin mid-sentence.

I am just so happy that there is SOME quality on TV nowa­days. Being more of a book-ish person, TV is usu­ally a very dis­ap­pointing and boring waste of time for me. But when it’s Colbert time, his Lincolnish despite for the fac­tin­ista make my stomach hurt in sweet pain from unstop­pable laughter.

Don’t miss the new site: The Colbert Nation

Harry Whittington, 78, was “alert and doing fine” after Mr. Cheney sprayed Mr. Whittington with shotgun pel­lets on Saturday at the Armstrong Ranch in south Texas, said prop­erty owner Katharine Armstrong.

source: The Globe and Mail

Should this guy be allowed to be run­ning the country?