kiran’s pensieve

Stephen Colbert imparts sage wisdom in Wired Magazine…

DON’T BE AFRAID TO MAKE THINGS UP. Never fear being exposed as a fraud. Experts make things up all the time. They’re qualified to.

PICK A FIELD THAT CAN’T BE VERIFIED. Try something like string theory or God’s will: “I speak to God. I’m sorry that you can’t also.” Security experts are in this category: They have security clearances, we don’t. We can’t question the expertise of the NSA because we are not in the NSA.

GET AN HONORARY PHD. They work wonders. I have a doctorate in fine arts from Knox College in Illinois. All I did was give a speech, and now everybody has to call me Dr. Colbert.

This guy is on fire!

We’ve been taping, each night, monday through thursday, the new episodes of The Daily Show w/ Jon Stewart and The Colbert Report. Then, over the course of the week and the weekend, we watch them all.

It’s a fab system we’ve developed. We don’t miss the antics of the shows, and yet we don’t end up cutting into our sleep time to watch them. And, as a bonus, we can fast forward through all the commercials! Ahh, VCRs are not obsolete yet.

I have to say that Colbert has taken the wonderful concepts that were developed on the Daily Show, and placed them among the heavens above. The guy is not just an incredibly funny comedian, he’s also the sharpest mind on TV since Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Sheer genius. Each episode is packed all the way through with punches and jabs and acute observations on topics as diverse as Sigmund Freud’s birthday, to Feminine Sexual Emplowerment, to Robotic Deadly Bears.

His schtick, so amazingly played out by him, of being a neo-conservative, ultra right wing, xenophobic, homophobic, religious-fundamentalist is just flawlessly portrayed - except for the few times each night when he breaks out into a grin mid-sentence.

I am just so happy that there is SOME quality on TV nowadays. Being more of a book-ish person, TV is usually a very disappointing and boring waste of time for me. But when it’s Colbert time, his Lincolnish despite for the factinista make my stomach hurt in sweet pain from unstoppable laughter.

Don’t miss the new site: The Colbert Nation

Isaac Hayes quits “South Park”

Isaac Hayes has quit “South Park,” where he voices Chef, saying he can no longer stomach its take on religion.

Since 1997, South Park has been televised around the world, and loved (and hated) for its fearless bluntness and earnest sarcasm. Trey Park and Matt Stone, creators of the TV show, have a cult following that is made up of fans as diverse as heartland ranchers, academic researchers and post-modern gays and lesbians. Even Alan Ball, the guy behind American Beauty and Six Feet Under, is a fan.

Since its very beginnings, South Park has made it a point to caricature, parody and otherwise highlight the ambiguities, hypocrisies and contradictions in cultural institutions and icons: from Mormonism to PETA, from Christmas to Hanukkah. Nothing has ever been held too reverently, other than, maybe, “common” sense combined with a healthy amount of skeptical analysis (Watch the episodes and follow the thinking in the “I learned something today…” mini-epiphanies that someone or another always has). Heck, even these mini-epiphanies themselves have been parodied numerous times. The show is a comedic fractal, always looking inside for farcical materials as much as it looks outside.

“There is a place in this world for satire, but there is a time when satire ends and intolerance and bigotry towards religious beliefs of others begins,” the 63-year-old soul singer and outspoken Scientologist (Hayes) said.

So, I guess when Trey and Matt were calling Joseph Smith and his minions, the Mormons, “dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb”, that was fine.

When Cartman was singing “Jews play stupid games, that’s why they’re lame”, there was no perceivable intolerance.

When Mr. Garrison was singing “Merry F***ing Christmas” to all the heathens around the world, Mr. Hayes didn’t feel threated by that.

No. It was only when South Park dared to slice open the realities of the Church of Scientology, that Isaac Hayes decided to quit the show. Truth is, Mr. Hayes has the right to his opinion, but hypocrisy should really be kept in check, if not for reasons of personal integrity, then because it just makes you look stupid.

As Matt Stone put it, in his usual eloquent fashion:

Stone told The AP he and co-creator Trey Parker “never heard a peep out of Isaac in any way until we did Scientology. He wants a different standard for religions other than his own, and to me, that is where intolerance and bigotry begin.” 

We finally got around to getting a membership in the local video store and now are in the process of catching up on all the releases from the last year or so.

It’s so nice to be moved in, and to be in an area that offers so much variety and liveliness. There’s Cabbagetown on one side of us, Bloor/Yonge on the other, Church Street within walking distance; the Don Valley and all its surrounding charms are right across the street, stores and restaurants of every kind all around. It’s a completely different world here.

So the movies, yeah. First off, Bill Murray shows that he is a better actor than ever before in Broken Flowers, written and directed by Jim Jarmusch, the insane genius behind the surreal Johnny Depp film, Dead Man. This movie, also starring Sharon Stone, Frances Conroy (who is sorely missed since Six Feet Under ended last August), and Jeffrey Wright is definitely one of my favorite movies of 2005. Even Jessica Lange is enjoyable, something I cannot say for most of the other roles I’ve seen her in. A nice little bonus was seeing Chloe Sevigny in a subtly powerful role, something she pulls off masterfully, again. The story and the pacing might not be for everyone’s taste, but the acting of these amazing people trumps any lag in scripting. Frances Conroy’s Dora just completely wiped us off our feet. She is one brilliant and beautiful actress.

After I returned Broken Flowers, I wanted to pick up something else that would blow me away (something 95% of the movies in stock at the store were promising not to do). I had heard about The Brothers Grimm before, but had refused to pick up something starring Matt Damon and Heath Ledger, in protest of their once hyperbolic popularity. However, to my pleasant surprise, it seems that in the tradition of Brad Pitt and others before him, these 2 gave in and went to acting classes somewhere along the way. Ben Affleck, a cohort of Matt Damon in the old days, apparently still thinks he’s too cool for school.

To my shock, The Brothers Grimm was directed by Terry Gilliam, a bit of information I hadn’t known before. Of course, being the immense Monty Python fans that we are, we had to pick it up. Gilliam’s movie, funded by Dreamworks, is superbly filmed, and, in true Gilliam fashion, has some utterly unforgettable moments. Monica Bellucci gives a chilling performance as the mesmerizing Christian Queen villain. Peter Stormare is hilarious and moving as Cavaldi, the soft-hearted Italian torture artist. The specials and commentary on the DVD were fantastic as well. Can’t wait for the day Terry Gilliam casts Alan Rickman in one of his films!

Albert Brooks’ new release, Looking For Comedy In The Muslim World, is looking to be a real kick in the butt. I have to say bravo to Mr. Brooks for taking on a difficult topic in what seems to be an ever-polarized world.

Were you afraid Muslims may take offense to a film made by an American Jew?

No. I knew this when I was in Delhi and met with the Imam of Jama Masjid. When I told him what my film was about, he laughed. Besides, if anybody is made fun of, it is me. It’s not them. It’s not the countries. It’s this guy, Albert Brooks. And my film follows a grand tradition in American films.

What kind of grand tradition?

Charlie Chaplin was the buffoon in his own films. W C Fields took all the hits in his movies. The comedian is the one we are making fun of, and that comedian is me. I think if people who hate you can laugh with you at something, that’s the quickest way to have a little understanding. If you really sat in a room with different kinds of people who normally don’t speak to each other and you all laughed at something, even if it was me falling on my a**, that is something. There is at once some sort of release of pressure there.

And goodness knows, everyone needs a release of pressure.

The guy is totally nuts, eh?