1. Live for the past.
2. Live for the future.
3. Think everything is always about you.
4. Think that you just don’t matter at all.
5. Believe that pills will solve all your problems.
6. Believe that pills are stupid and useless.
7. Do not let yourself change.
8. Believe that it is all your fault.
9. Believe that it is all other people’s fault.
10. Accept all the bad things you have heard, read or thought about you.
11. Deny any good things you have heard, read or thought about you.
12. Never think about other people’s problems.
13. Think that because you can’t do everything, you shouldn’t do anything.
14. Roll your eyes while reading this list.
15. When happiness comes, greet it with fear or guilt or resentment.
16. Think that you are or have bad luck.
17. Don’t express yourself creatively in any way.
18. Keep on trying to please and/or piss-off Mom and/or Dad.
19. Wait for someone else to come and save you.
20. Exercise only sporadically and only out of guilt.
21. Don’t make friends with silence.
22. Watch a lot of TV.
23. Stay away from Nature.
24. Think of everything in terms of black or white.
25. Take all, give nothing.

~Kiran Mehdee [June 2008]